Knowing that you're clingy is the first step to improving your behavior. If you're clingy, then you're the kind of person who gets obsessed with a new person the moment you meet, whether you're making friends or dating. After that, you're likely to call the person constantly, ask to hang out all the time, and feel sad or abandoned if you have to spend some time alone. If you've exhibited some of this behavior, or if the people in your life have asked you to give them space, then you need to work on improving yourself and your approach to relationships so you can be less clingy. If you want to know how to do it, just follow these steps. Method One of Three: Work on Yourself 1 Build your confidence. A lot of people are clingy because they are unhappy with who they are and feel insecure about being alone, being left behind, or being ignored. Clingy people can even become overly paranoid that people are hanging out without them because they think that nobody may really like them in the end. Get over these feelings and work on loving who you are. If you're confident, then you won't be obsessed with people leaving you and will be less clingy. Think of at least three things that make you special. Learn to love yourself. Take pleasure in being good at something, whether it's running, the hard work you do, or your ability to make people laugh. Have the body language of a confident person. Stand tall with your arms away from your chest, and smile as much as you can. Work on addressing your flaws. Everyone has flaws, and addressing them will make you feel better about yourself. 2 Work on your trust issues. Many people are clingy because they have trust issues, whether they stem from feeling abandoned as a child, being ditched by a former best friend, or even being cheated on by a former significant other. These causes must have been very painful, but you need to learn that you should approach each new relationship on its own terms, and that the past cannot dictate the present. Learn to let go of the people or situations that hurt you in the past, and look toward building a better, healthier future of fulfilling relationships. Tell yourself that clinging to people is not the way to make them be more loyal to you -- in fact, clinging to someone is much more likely to push him or her away. Don't be frustrated with yourself. You can't resolve all of your trust issues overnight -- but you can take baby steps that make you feel more open to trusting people without being by their side all the time. 3 Ease your anxiety. A lot of clingy behavior is rooted in anxiety -- you may be anxious about being alone forever, anxious about not having a best friend, or anxious that people are laughing at you behind your back the second you leave the room. You may also just be anxious about trying to navigate multiple or new relationships, so you stick to the person or few people that you know well to deal with your fear of the unknown. A lot of anxiety is mixed with stress -- you may be feeling anxious because your world is so crazy and busy and you have so much on your plate that you feel like you can't handle it on your own. Take some steps to reduce stress, like meditating, doing yoga, and maintaining a healthy sleep schedule, and see if you feel less anxious. Before you walk into a room full of people, just take a few deep breaths. Tell yourself that it's okay to talk to new people and to branch out instead of being glued to the person you're with. 4 Talk to someone. If you feel so clingy that you're dependent on your mother's, boyfriend's, or best friend's every move, then you may need to talk to someone about your problem. You can start by opening up to a close friend, significant other, or family member about your problems. If you feel out of control, you can talk to a doctor or therapist and see if your problems are linked to an anxiety disorder or depression. Talking to someone can help you look for the root causes of your clingy nature. There are many reasons for being clingy -- maybe you grew up in a house full of rambunctious siblings and were fighting a losing battle for attention, or maybe you ended a relationship with a loved one because you weren't invested enough and are over correcting. Method Two of Three: Manage Your Relationships 1 Give people space. Giving people space is the best way to maintain a healthy relationship. Whether you're giving your best friend or boyfriend some breathing room, you should know that being apart from someone will actually make that person appreciate you more when you do come together. If you're with a person all the time, it's only natural that you'll get sick of each other because you don't have any time to miss each other or to report back with any interesting things that happened when you are apart. Give people space in your communication. Don't constantly text, call, or just "show up" to hang out with a person. This can be annoying and even rude. Make sure the person you're calling also calls you. Don't smother people. If you smother someone, then you're always around, and asking about every little detail of that person's day without giving him a chance to do anything on his own. Try spend at least three times as much time away from a person as you do with him. Even if you're so madly in love that you can't keep your hands off your new man, know that this feeling can't last forever. Enjoy pursuing your interests when you're not with the person or people you want to hang out with. Don't look at it as just "killing time" until you can hang out with that person again. Learn to read the signs. If a person needs some alone time, he or she may not be answering your calls as often, withdrawing when you're together, or saying that he's having a really busy week. Don't try to be around even more if this happens, but give the person some breathing room. 2 Take it slow when you meet someone new. A lot of clingy people immediately latch on to a new person, whether it's a new person or someone they've had just one or two dates with. This is a defense mechanism that says you're afraid that the person doesn't return your affection and will let you go if you're not as aggressive as possible. Just take it easy and relax with a new person, trying not to hang out with him or her more than once a week. If you start planning your entire social schedule around a new person, you'll be likely to scare him or her off. Don't immediately open up and talk about how you've been looking for a new friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend -- this will scare the person off. Don't initiate every hangout with the new person. Make sure there's a balance and that you both try to hang out equally. 3 Don't baby anyone. A lot of clingy people think that people need them to take care of them and hang around trying to help people or give advice to people who don't really need it. Sometimes people will need your help, but don't take on a motherly role with everyone you meet, thinking that a person's life won't be complete without all of your attention and advice. If people need your help, they'll ask for it most of the time, so don't assume that people always need you to take care of them. 4 Watch your body language. Even your body language can overwhelm people and make you feel like you're trying a little too hard to be in their personal space. If you're with a friend, don't stand too close, give too many hugs or touches, or play with that friend's hair or accessories, or you may smother her. If you're with a significant other, cuddling and kissing is nice, but if you have to hold hands 100% of the time and be glued to the person at parties or social events, then you'll be coming on too strong. Though you should give your attention to the person you're talking to, don't corner the person, maintain intense eye contact, and keep the person from talking to other people. 5 Don't get taken for granted. One of the downfalls of being clingy is that you'll get taken for granted. Clingy people can be taken for granted because they are always around -- if you're clingy, your friend or boyfriend knows that you'll appear to help or hangout in the blink of an eye. If you don't want to get taken for granted, make sure you're not always around or available. Make it clear that you have other people in your social network -- mention hanging out with them!!!
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